I was really going to shy away from this introductory story, but it tied in so perfectly with my topic.

There are only a handful of experiences with people in my life that are even more vulnerable to share than all that I already do. This is one of them.

I experienced a friendship breakup in 2022 (it probably really happened in late 2021, but we dragged it out for a good part of last year). She was one of those “lifer” friends. The kind of friends that you – or at least, I – dreamed of or prayed for, and then got to experience. So, it goes without saying, I didn’t handle the breakup very well. And up until about a week ago, I thought I’d thrown it in the back of my mind. Learned to move on, albeit with a fun new set of apprehensions, insecurities, and triggers in the friendships that still remained.

But when I learned we were both invited to a mutual friend’s birthday party, I realized almost instantly that it wasn’t as far back in my mind as I’d thought. A night of restless sleep had my thoughts all over the place. I didn’t know if I was sad, mad, fearful, hopeful, grieving. But I knew this, my feelings were stronger than I thought they’d be all these months later. 

I just wrapped up my very first Mastermind program. The program ran the entirety of June and it was phenomenal. In so many ways. I suppose one of these next entries will be a full recap, highlighting my takeaways from the Mastermind. But on that sleepless night, as I tossed and turned and stared into a room full of black, something surfaced. And it’s continued to surface for the past few weeks.

So many of us have heard about Meyers-Briggs, Love Languages, Enneagram – ya know, all those personality tests. I LOVE questionnaires and applications that ask you what your personality test results are because it’s such a unique marker. It truly does, at least in my opinion, give a little bit more insight to qualities, traits, fears, needs as a person. I’m sure you can dig as deep a hole as you’d like with each, or on the flip side, choose to avoid such tests and neglect the possibility of learning something new about human design and interaction altogether. But I have a Learner strength and one of the areas I’ve become obsessed with learning about is…ME. I love using these tests as a way to learn new things about my behaviors and emotional triggers. So when I was first meeting with my Mastermind coach and she asked me what my Human Design was, it was yet another “test” I could learn something from. 

My Human Design result was a PROJECTOR.

Upon first glance, my momentary spiral included thoughts on being this pushy, overbearing, and expressive person, who likely pushed their friend away. And maybe some childhood and teenage friendships too, though that’s always up for debate as an adult. Who would want someone projecting their (fill-in-the-blank) on them, right?

While I don’t know much about the Human Design, or the Projector specifically, I have heard one insight repeatedly that has validated, and given language, to something I’ve always shamed myself for.

The invitation. 

The strategy of the Projector is to wait for the invitation.

Waiting has always been a challenge for me. It can feel passive in many ways and inactive, especially in moments where do-ing is me seeking control instead of simply be-ing. I learned that my design to WAIT for the invitation and that waiting actually allows my body to slow down and not rush, to lean into my feminine energy (whaaaaat!!!! —> if you knew some of my prayers, you’d know why this punched me in my gut). And I haven’t been able to shake this revelation. Especially in my relationships. 

Now, my Mastermind gals and I referenced the Human Design as it pertained to business matters, but all the while, I couldn’t help but think about how deeply this has affected my relationships, both familial and friendly. 

When friends are struggling emotionally, I crave the invitation.

When life gets crazy and a family-of-4 schedule seems way more complicated than my party-of-1 schedule, I crave the invitation. 

When seasons change and new partners, or babies enter the picture, I crave the invitation. 

When a conversation is needed, I crave the invitation. 

When good ol’ girl time is necessary, I crave the invitation.

You will almost never see me force myself into anything.   

I’ll be there if you ask.

I just want to be invited in.

Maaan, if only I could share this with teenage Monique – who went against her projector design to engage, invite, chase (read: sprint after) people for acceptance. If only I could share this with the Monique in her 20s (and 30s) who has continued to work against her design for fear that her waiting might be misunderstood as not being interested, not caring, not understanding, not wanting a part of a relationship, or even worse, isolating and removing herself altogether.

She just wanted to be invited in. 

The invitation, for her, signaled (…and now I’m shifting over to Enneagram language) that she’s wanted. 

I still don’t what feelings kept me up in the middle of the night last week, but I’m certain that I hadn’t healed from my friendship breakup because I needed this very revelation. I needed to know that my fight for an invitation in came from a good place, and wasn’t just my ugly spilling out on people.

But I also needed to know that stepping away was valid too.

I haven’t healed over the weekend or anything, but perhaps I’m getting to a place where I’m finally ready to. 

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If you are anything like me – and even if you’re not – consider this my personal invitation to all that is happening in and throughout moniquehatchett.com. From freebies to resources to our new Membership program, The Nest, we have so many ways to get you connected. I’m personally inviting you in – take flight!