It’s only fitting that during the week of Valentine’s Day, we highlight those we love. And since I’m single, there won’t be any romantic, mushy displays of affection going on here (yet) but if you’ve followed me on Instagram for any length of time, you’ve likely seen that I’m building a business. And that’s my main squeeze these days. And as I continue to wander through the complicated world of all the biz things, I often reflect on or pull inspiration from those I love, those that pour into me and those that I “do life together” with. My tribe. How many of you have a tribe? This has been exchanged for the word community, many times, but personally, tribe goes beyond that community surface for me. Even deeper, to a more intimate layer of connection.

See, for me, community would be my Creative @ Heart family. Gosh, those gals <3 A group of women (and some men) who share a common passion: the desire to pursue their creative gifting as full-time entrepreneurs. So, we’re connected. They’re apart of my in-group. I know I can chat them up on at least one facet of life without any disconnect. They’re encouraging, uplifting, collaborative, and ready to partner up to impact the world. Amazing human beings!

But tribe. Tribe transcends community.

Like my small group, for instance.

Wait, let me sidetrack for a minute and tell you the story of how my small group came together.

The five of us joined a ministry at church – we were five out of a group of 40. With zero knowledge of how the ministry program would be structured, we arrived to our first meetup and were randomly selected to be in the same group. Two of the five knew each other, but the rest of us knew not a soul. The one thing we did have in common, besides joining, was the idea that we were supposed to be in other groups.

We were informed when we joined the ministry that we were about to embark on an immense season of personal and spiritual growth, transparency with other ministry leaders, and would create lifelong relationships with our group mates. Looking around that table, I couldn’t imagine being transparent with these “strangers.” I couldn’t picture what a lifelong relationship with all of them – or really any of them – would look like. But it only took a few Sundays for the change to start happening. One by one, they started sharing pieces of their story. One by one, they started growing in their strength to be transparent with our group. One by one, they started inspiring my heart to thaw out a bit and open up.

It’s now been an entire year that we’ve “done life together.” And completely opposite of how I felt that very first day, I cannot imagine my life without our connection. These girls have spoken life to my soul during some of the hardest parts of my year and been a light in other parts. They have listened when I needed an ear and encouraged when I needed affirmation. I often wonder who or where I’d be if our paths were never aligned in such a season.

I had a tough time with the word “tribe” at first because it felt like every time I talked about tribe, or heard the word tribe, it pertained to my business client base. So, I need another name for those folks. Ya know, Lady Gaga has her “monsters” and Beyonce has “the beehive” – I need a name for my biz fam, because tribe is taken. Tribe is designated for those people in my life who pour into ME. My inner circle.

The people I continue to turn to for encouragement, inspiration, direction, advice.
The people I can talk about my crazy business ideas with, trusting them with that information.
The people who pour into me and fill up my cup, without even knowing it.

But wait, are biz tribes the same as everyday life tribes?
Can they be? Should they be?

I had so many questions. I still do.

I’ve talked previously about how navigating relationships is hard. Especially as adults. And, as women, we are programmed from a young age to hide the ugly. Or to hide the weak parts of ourselves. It’s hard to build deep and meaningful friendships and relationships because we’re afraid to be vulnerable and transparent. We’re afraid to open up. Unable to trust because of past experiences. And in that same breath, navigating entrepreneurship is hard too. Because we don’t have it all together in the beginning, I think we can shy away from creating that tribe-like family that is so necessary to help us get things off the ground. We hide the fact that we don’t know what we’re doing or we’re growing slow. We don’t know who to build deep and meaningful relationships with or who to trust, so we don’t do any of it. And we try to go at it alone. I’ve tried to go at it alone. In life and in business. I’ve also flipped to the other end of the spectrum where quantity was more important than quality and I brought everyone into my circle only to be let down and hurt by those I never should have trusted in the first place. In stepping into new seasons with renewed desires to deeply and honestly connect with people, I’ve found a beautiful tribe of cheerleaders. And I’ve found my role in other people’s tribes. Operating in a genuine partnership of collaboration and connection truly has me undone. I can see now why having a tribe is so vital, personally and professionally.

But wait, should your biz tribe be the same as your everyday life tribe?

That question sat at my heels for days. Because, yeah, in my case, they’re pretty similar.

Here are the 4 main roles I have within my tribe, from both a biz perspective and a personal perspective. What’s your take?

PERSONAL ROLE: The Encourager
BIZ ROLE: The Cheerleader
Any fellow cheerleaders in the house? I was a cheerleader so I know all about encouragement, which is why I looooove the people in this role so, so much. From a personal point of view, these are the people who learn your heart and know how to grow it best, identify your love language and speak it fluently, listen to your heart’s dream and then continue to speak into that dream, affirming your thoughts and building on them. This person can inspire and spark new ideas, sprinkle a little spontaneity in an otherwise structured schedule, and be a calming presence amidst the chaos circling around you. In a business sense, I have two types of cheerleaders: I have some who are like proud parents in the stands, offering a pat on the back when needed along with the affirmation necessary to keep trekking forward. The other type are the actual cheerleaders, yelling loudly on the field level. They may not pour into ME in the same way, but they are ready to spread the word about all of my amazingness. They’re basically my own little PR squad hyping me up to the world and ready to help me create a buzz!

PERSONAL ROLE: The Straight-Edge
BIZ ROLE: The Hater
I know what you’re thinking – why the heck would I keep a naysayer in my tribe? I ask myself this question every time I get my feelings hurt by their harsh truths. But maybe that’s exactly why – this person always delivers the truth, even when I don’t want to hear it. Even when it hurts to hear it. Deep down, I think I crave that resistance. Gasp! Did I just admit that!? From a personal standpoint, it’s hard to hear. No doubt. I think what I’m learning to grasp from the last few months “on the couch” is understanding. When triggered by any resistance or push back, I must find the space to address it. I must find the space to dissect exactly what it is that has rubbed me the wrong way. What do I need to pull out of their statement in order to grow? What issue needs to be tackled? Now putting my business cap on, resistance helps me see the holes in my ideas or helps me create alternative ways to reach my ideal clients. It sure can be a burst to my bubble, especially if I’m on an idea wave or blowing off some excitement in the form of creative blabber.

PERSONAL ROLE + BIZ ROLE: The Prayer Warrior
A MUST for any tribe. This is the person who speaks life into any dream, any circumstance and any season of life. A person who is quick to lead you as Christ would, cover you in prayer or pray over your gifts (…in my case, quite literally!) Someone who is so rooted in God’s truth, their conversation and mere presence leads you back to Him every time. They keep you centered and they keep you humble, forever reminding you to give Him praise for wherever you are currently positioned. This is a role I never intentionally filled in my circles, but now that I’ve recognized it as such a cornerstone, I can’t imagine a tribe without it.

PERSONAL ROLE: The Planner
BIZ ROLE: The Business Boss
This is the gal with sound mind and solid advice. You may not go to her for wild dreams and far out future thinking as often, they aren’t the big, extravagant dreamers, but more of the level-headed, experience vs. feeling type folks who help you get stuff done. Personally, I need these folks to keep my head above water. To help me take my big overall goals and break them down into smaller, more manageable goals to help me chip away little by little. These people center me and bring me back to reality when I start to float away on my big ol’ dream clouds. In business, they still fulfill the same role. The only difference is the direction of conversation. The biz boss will lead you well and offer expertise in marketing, branding, social media, web design, legalities, financials, the list goes on and on. They are able to layout all the to-dos within a given segment and keep you on track. They still help guide you, little by little, to the big goals you have, but likely will assess your overall business goals and tailor their interactions to reaching those first.

Are there any roles missing? I’d love to hear what characteristics or needs you have floating around your circle. Perhaps there are roles assigned to certain season of life and/or business that are still yet to come?

Isn’t it so amazing that even though we don’t get to choose what life brings us, we do get to choose who we do life with? I’m thankful.

Thankful for the gift of friendship.
For the gift of my tribe.
The gift of community.
And thankful for support systems – of many kinds – that we are so richly blessed with.