March 31, 2020

Oh March,

What happened, friend?

I was so hopeful that after a long and difficult start to the new year that you and I would make up for it. That you and I would start fresh and propel forward with a new zest for all that 2020 was meant to hold. That you and I would shift the focus. But maaan, I could’ve NEVER predicted all that your 31 days would hold. All the changes that would impact our world. Seemingly forever. What happened to US!? You clearly didn’t need ANY help from me.

I sat here thinking about the total vent sesh I wanted to rain down on you today. I was so prepared to let you have it. So mad, so annoyed, and so ready to complain about all of the inconveniences wrapped up in this month.

People are losing jobs. Companies are shutting their doors. Grocery stores are without the essentials. Weddings are being cancelled. Students have no idea when schools will resume. Graduations are in question. The elderly and those at higher risk are battling loneliness, isolated from families who only want to keep them safe. Babies are entering the world and people are dying without loved ones nearby. People are physically distant from one another. And sports seasons – worldwide – have come to a halt. Life’s so uncertain at the moment. So frightening. So uncontrollable. The comforts we once enjoyed so freely are now joys we have become grateful for and ones we are so eager to enjoy once again.

As I started typing out every inconvenience and every bit of my frustration, I started seeing – almost immediately – the positives. In my head, I shouted “NOOOOOO!!!! LET ME BE MAD AND ANNOYED. LET ME JUST VENT RIGHT NOW!” But I couldn’t help it. The anger was dissipating and it was almost as if every stroke of the keyboard was a fragment of this negative shell chipping away, allowing me to see – perhaps with God’s eyes – a little bit of what this month has truly held within its grasp.

Suddenly, I wasn’t so angry. I was softening up to the possibility that this is a moment in time – a moment in HISTORY – that I was allowed to experience. That is teaching me something. And if I shifted my perspective for just a moment, I’d be able to see how this is still propelling me forward to all that 2020 has in store for me.

---

1.

in my head (inconvenience): the loss of my job

“I’m so bored. I have way too much time on my hands, nothing to do, no one to see, and nowhere to go.”

in my heart:

“Monique, you prayed for time. You prayed for rest. You used to schedule your #WeekofNo just to seize a bit of the social freedom you’ve been granted. What do you suddenly have time for right now? What has your schedule opened up to allow more time for? Is it LoveMo, more reading, journaling, finishing the first Star Wars trilogy (thanks, bro!), late nights to let your brain flood freely with dreams and ideas, early mornings to sit and soak with absolutely no timeline at all? How was your 9-hour workday and 2-hour traffic commute getting in the way of your to-do list, your dream list, the things God set upon your heart? Here’s the time you asked for. How are you going to make the most of it?”

2.

in my head (inconvenience): the fall of the ECONOMY

“The economy SUCKS right now. Companies are shutting their doors left and right. Business owners are fighting to stay alive. Ughhh, all this time on my hands and I can’t even pour into LoveMo. There’s no way my small business can thrive right now. What’s the point in even planning?”

in my heart:

“THIS is why you had a sense of peace about your layoff. THIS is why you didn’t fall into your typical routine of worry, worry, worry – especially about finances. There’s nothing open for you to mindlessly spend your money on (LOL!). All jokes aside – how can you come alongside your fellow business owners – small and large? How can you support people in their time of need? Is there any correlation between your heart, your business (or calling) and the current state of our world? YES!!! Yes, there is! The Lord put a business (or calling) on your heart that can – and will – stand the test of time. A business (or calling) that can withstand the ever-changing world, the ever-changing seasons of life, the heart happy times, the heart heavy times and all the times in between. Self care is universal. And in this time, where people are coming together and hunkering down in order to flatten the curve and reduce the spread of this virus, what a beautiful reminder to share – to spend a little quality time caring for yourself. What a needed practice right now. A time to really focus inward – make sense of your feelings, get informed with the facts, and make certain that your tank is full so you can better take care of your families, your communities, and stand strong against whatever’s thrown at you each day. Now is a time for people and businesses to shine. To share their stories. To connect in a deeper way. To speak to the needs of those who are hurting and struggling. Those who are desperate to know they’re not alone. Now, more than ever, Monique, you can commit to serving others, loving them through this season, sprinkling joy like confetti, and finding new and creative ways to spread love all over the world. Even though we’re social distancing, you can vow to stay emotionally connected to yourself, to them, and to others.

3.

in my head (inconvenience): ZERO human CONNECTION. Whaaat?!

“Social distancing has been extended? WTH???! No wonder we’re all losing track of what day it is. Am I ever going to see my friends again? No church? No social outings? No hugs?!! I’m a 2!!!!!!! I LIVE for relationships. Why are you doing this to me? I’m going stir crazy in my house and become increasingly depressed seeing all the CANCELLED notices in my calendar. We weren’t meant to live this way!”

in my heart:

As hard as this one is for you to accept, there really is so much good in the solitude. Tap into your inner introvert to understand the importance of getting comfortable alone. You’re correct, we weren’t created to do life alone. We were created for relationship. But this starts with YOU. How’s your relationship with you? How do you like spending time with yourself? Could you fill an entire monthly calendar with plans and date nights, social outings and coffee dates…ALONE? What would that look like?

Take a look at the last month. Even the last two weeks where the state has been ordered to stay home. Have your relationships changed at all? How often do you speak to loved ones? May I take this time to point out that you’ve had multiple Facetime chats with your nieces – more Facetime in the last week than you’ve had in the last quarter (cough, cough….). Your spa nights and girl time is still happening, albeit via Zoom. Your LIFE class and PST meetings? Still happening. Church still goes down on Sundays. Same time. Same faces. And look at all of the other church gatherings you’ve been able to experience in light of this. The Cherish Women’s Thursday morning prayer session you always wanted to attend but couldn’t because of work? BOOM! Online now. The Social Dallas weekly gathering, hosted by the Madus? BOOM! Instantly transported to Texas. Churches are getting creative. They’re not confined to their buildings. The church isn’t a building, it’s a body of people. Creative people. Social media savvy people. People with the heart to connect to other people. At the root, nothing’s really changed. The world’s just finding new routes to the same destination: Connection.

4.

in my head (inconvenience): the world has come to a standstill.

“It’s eerie driving down the street. No cars. No lights on in some places. No life outside of the home. Grocery stores are frenzy fairs where chaos ensues just to grab simple needs like toilet paper and rice. There’s fear just going to the laundromat. Weddings, school years, baby showers, graduations, concerts, sporting events…everything’s been CANCELLED. Restaurants, malls, movie theaters, parks, beaches, hotels, churches…CLOSED. I hate thinking about people visiting/staying in the hospital, going to doctor’s appointments or sitting in nursing homes ALONE. How long will we live this way? How long can we?!”

in my heart:

No one knows. Maybe that’s what’s scaring you. Maybe your fear is expressed in frustration. The panic underneath is why you’re so pissed off. But what is this teaching you? What are the closures and cancellations doing IN you? If people aren’t out and about, they’re at home. They’re spending quality time together. They’re eating dinner at home, together. Maybe the parents who spent too much time away from their children are actually filling up those little hearts with the physical closeness they once craved from Mommy or Daddy. And maybe it’s doing a good work in the child. Maybe some of the hoarding in grocery stores are purchases for elderly who can’t leave the house to shop. Maybe we needed the lessen the distraction to help redirect our attention. The focus is shifting. People are starting to think about others, more than they ever have. We’re isolating to care for others – whether it’s those at risk, or our healthcare/medical responders. We’re ceasing all gatherings to care for others. We’re simply getting on the phone and checking in on others, just to make sure they’re okay. Kinda makes you wonder what God’s teaching us right now. I can vaguely hear Him whisper – what’s really important in this moment?

---

So, while my head has been entirely consumed this month with the overwhelming INCONVENIENCE of the COVID-19 virus, deep down, I sense a powerful truth in my heart that this pandemic is reviving something in our world. That there’s renewal and restoration happening all around us.

So with that, I say, farewell to you, March. But even louder, I say THANK YOU.

Thank you for the last 31 days and the rest, restoration, connection and creation that has emerged (…thanks Rebekah Lyons!)

Thank you for allowing us to step outside of our thoughts and experience these moments.

Thank you for what your shift has made room for in our lives.

And thank you for the excitement that builds when I think about a new month, a fresh start, a brighter outlook on whatever tomorrow holds. In this season, right now, I’m just grateful for a tomorrow.

Love, Mo