Last week, I met my niece for the very first time. 

So, I have two nieces and one nephew who I love as if they were my own children. I had the honor of growing up alongside them, intertwined in their lives every step of the way. Those are the kiddos you see splattered all over my stories and sprinkled throughout my Instagram page from time to time.

My heartbeats. 

When my brother and sister in law divorced about five years ago, they were my focus.

It was a hard time for us all. 

Still is, if I’m being totally honest.

The family that once felt so closely connected feels segmented most days – everyone still processing and managing their own traumas from a very ugly few years. Both my brother and sister-in-law moved on into other relationships, which both resulted in brand new babies – my brother’s, whom I met for the very first time last week.

I can’t quite put my finger on what meeting her felt like:

There was an excitement to meet this almost-3 year old. And though her name flutters in and out of our house, she had seemingly no idea who we were. 

There was a mama/auntie bear who was holding space for the feelings of that little girls’ older siblings.

And in a weird way, there was this sense of gratitude that this MESSY situation both resulted in 1) a little life for whom God’s already written such a powerful story and 2) my business.

I’m pretty certain that had divorce not ripped through my family, my business wouldn’t be here.

Not right now, at least. 

That divorce brought me to my knees. 

Then it brought me to counseling. 

Which deepened my faith. 

And helped me recognize my lack of self care. 

Those ugly years helped me foster an intimacy with God and with myself, and thus this desire to help other women do the same came floating to the surface. 

Can I ask you a question?

But moreso, can you honestly answer?

When’s the last time you fostered intimacy with yourself?

I’ve become obsessed with the word “intimacy” lately, as it pertains to self care. I think culture has turned the word into something purely sexual which only creates more of a distance when considering how impactful the act can be within our own self. Intimacy is simply closeness.

So how close are you to you right now?

This new niece of mine had no idea who I was, and had very little desire to interact with a complete stranger. I get it. I was there. There was a time, not too long ago, that I felt that way about myself – I was essentially a stranger. It was uncomfortable to be me. I didn’t even realize how estranged I’d become from myself because I simply didn’t prioritize time with ME.

Can I urge you today to get away from the “self care” culture craze and simply work on the intimacy with yourself? Shake up whatever routine you currently have to make FIVE MINUTES for you today. 

My niece spent a couple hours at my house, all of which were void of words or interaction, BUT you could see little sprinklings of comfort beginning to sprout. After about an hour, she moved from my brother’s arms to the couch, and then from the couch to the floor. From crying to holding a Barbie. From staring to slowly eating a piece of pizza. I’m sure had we had a little more time, we would’ve been able to hear her voice or see a smile. But that’s my point. 

It all takes time.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME.

Be with you. 

Get comfortable with all that you are. 

Because it’s so beautiful, friend. 

<3

If you need help with little ways to incorporate some YOU time into your day, I’ve got a FREE download just for you. It’s got journal prompts, affirmations, playlists, beverage choices…it’s simple. But it’s necessary.

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