Seems like the mornings these days have been filled with me, staring at my phone, frantically trying to pull all of the “must tackle” items from a brain that seems to be on total sleep mode.

“Pay fee for whatever-LLC-document-CA-made-up-this-month”

“IG Post”

“Schedule F/U Appointment”

“Don’t forget to do _____”

The list goes on and on…

I often find myself frustrated thinking “why is it so hard to get it together?”

And then I remember.

I’m in the midst of a seasonal transition.

And oh yeah, I got a new job. 

Yep. As the saga of my life continues, I went from a world of unemployment back to my safe and consistent work environment, only to end up quitting a few days in with absolutely nothing to fall into…

But God.

He had something waiting, with my name all over it.

And for the next couple of months, I’ve hopped on board as a project manager with my church, spearheading our annual Toys for Joy efforts.

The transition has been…CHALLENGING.

I have yet to find my rhythm. And while that’s to be expected, I’ve had a difficult time honoring this transition and giving myself the grace necessary to find my new groove.

Which begs the question: why are we so hard on ourselves?

Gosh, I’m getting emotional now, just thinking about how mean I’ve been to myself the last few weeks. How much I’ve doubted my own gifts and abilities. How quickly I’ve given up and thrown the towel in on myself. How lacking my belief is in…myself.

While my new work atmosphere is warm and welcoming, and while many faces are familiar ones who offer a sense of “home” each day, I still wrestle internally with feeling like I really belong. I still wrestle with the need to “perform” and to prove my abilities to people who don’t know what I can do. I still fight my own inner critic who is a total bully and tells me that I’ve made the wrong choice(s).

Have you ever felt like you’re in the ring with yourself?

Are there areas of your life where you throw in the towel…on you?

If we’re to be our own biggest cheerleaders, how are we letting others champion us better than we do ourselves?

There were two special moments in the last couple of weeks, two special moments where I found myself physically speaking out the doubts and negativity that consumed my thoughts. And almost immediately in both moments, God sent someone in to affirm me and almost, bat that criticism away, replacing it with truth I needed to power through.

So can I encourage you (and myself!) today?

Add one more thing to that daily “must tackle” list:

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF, GIRLFRIEND.

Forget everything you want to doubt. Forget every negative thought that you think it truth, and start believing something different. Start believing there is purpose right where you’re at, good in all that you’re doing. Trust that, out of everywhere we could’ve been and everyone that God could’ve chosen, He chose us and placed us right here, right now.

Be good to yourself this week.