How often do we busy ourselves with things or with people, many times distracting us from such sacred alone time? Last week, I left a work function and came home to an empty house. I had every intention of quickly changing clothes and heading to a coffee shop to clear my head, take in a new space, and get a couple hours of work done. But there was something about that emptiness that pulled me to the couch for a moment. The house, completely silent, allowing the perfect atmosphere to just soak in a moment alone. A moment to pause. A much needed moment to breathe with all of me. And in that moment, I made two very crucial decisions: 1) I changed into pajamas instead of jeans + a t-shirt. Duh? I brought all my “work” to the couch and traded in the coffee shop for the comforts of home annnd 2) I scheduled a #WeekofNo this month.

What’s a #WeekofNo?

I created the #WeekofNo last year. I’d come to a point of complete exhaustion and was overwhelmed with distraction, causing me to neglect the stillness needed to balance it all out. And because, very often, I’d promise myself an unplug and never make it a priority, I created the #WeekofNo. I was super intentional about it, too. I assigned a week on my calendar, in my planner, and on my phone app, announced my plans to my family and friends and made a conscious effort that week to pause momentarily whenever I was offered the opportunity to make social plans. That pause would gently remind me of my purpose that week, resulting in a “yes” to myself and a “no” to the plans (with a gentle rescheduling outside of the #WeekofNo time frame). I really needed that reset. I really needed to shift my focus, back on self, back on Jesus, back on His agenda for me, or perhaps lack of one.

Possible signs that you’re ready for a #WeekofNo:

1. You’re run down. Exhausted. Unfulfilled. Unmotivated. Pulling from an empty cup.

2. You’re constantly trying to please everyone. You give your yes where you’d rather give your no.

3. Let’s be real – you’re broke from your heavy social calendar!

4. The list of activities that make YOUR soul happy continues to grow without ever tackling anything.

5. You want to shift the focus back to self, fully tuned in to YOU.

My big red flag came after working two straight weeks and much of the Memorial Day holiday weekend in between. It had been days since I had a full day of complete rest and months since I’d scheduled a #WeekofNo. I noticed I was a little crankier than usual, my hair had been in a bun/ponytail for days (…enough rest = more effort), and afternoon cat naps became the thing. And while I LOVE my sleep, I’ve never been a successful napper so that became clue number one for me.

My body was tired. My work weeks were underwhelming which, not only made it hard to pull myself together in the mornings, but began to highlight the war that was going on inside my brain. One side fighting for the energy to sustain the go-go-go, encouraging every idea and multiplying it 1000x, feeding off of every plan and every meet-up. The other side simply fighting for a pause, a moment to fully stop and rest.

In the madness of the go-go-go, I do my best thinking, my best ideas flood in at a pace I can hardly keep up with. Those troops capitalize on my emotional need to connect with others and do a fabulous job at filling my social calendar with people and activities galore. In the go-go-go, I want to put on my superhero cape and do it all, see it all, say yes to it all. In the go-go-go, that quote about me having the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé scrolls across my eyeballs which only fuels my desire to want to unrealistically accomplish all the things.

In the silence – in my rest – is when I do my best reflecting. These troops are new to

my circle, but my goodness, they offer such needed refreshment to my soul. They encourage the unplug and remind me of my mental, spiritual, and emotional wellness in the most beautiful ways. They capitalize on my desire for education and knowledge and saturate my brain and heart with the sweet, sweet benefits of self-care. In the unplug, I learn more about my design. In the unplug, I fall more and more in love with myself which helps in offering my no. I become selfish in wanting to spend all of my free time with the amazing human being staring back at me in the mirror.

But it’s quite often that I find myself in the battle. Truly stuck in the middle of both worlds. So encouraged and so filled by the quality time (love language!!!) spent with family, with friends, with my Baby Koko, with my dGroup and church family that I just want to be around them ALL the time. They keep my thoughts centered, are incredibly encouraging, always draw me back to Jesus and just make my heart smile. But a harsh reality I was hit with last year?  They, too, keep me “busy” sometimes and distract me from my unplug. And navigating that perfect spot in the middle of both worlds has been my constant struggle.

This season of business building and relationship tending has been incredible, in every sort of way. And while #TeamGoGoGo has performed well on many fronts, I’m reminded of the more tender moments happening in the reflection. It has prompted me to add a few more soldiers to #TeamRest and hone in on that sweet soak session that my soul needs right about now. So I’m setting aside one week this month to be a little more intentional with my NO. No to extracurricular activities. No to dinner dates. No to mindless social media scrolling. No to filling my schedule with anything that creates that feeling of “busy-ness.” The Lord has been putting the word “PRESENCE” on my heart more often this season and has urged me to reconnect with a challenge set at the beginning of the year (more to come on this one!). So still in His PRESENCE I will be.

Let the soaking begin.

Above all, be mindful of your YES and intentional with your NO.